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Feeling better today,(touchwood),so have been religiously surfing the Net.

Found these along the way.

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
- Douglas Adams

"It's curtains for you, Mighty Mouse! This gun is so futuristic that even *I* don't know how it works!"
- from Ralph Bakshi's Mighty Mouse

"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman."
- Virginia Woolf


"I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room."
- Blaise Pascal
 
"Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones."
- Mike Barfield


"My mother married a very good man ... and she is not at all keen on my doing the same."
- George Bernard Shaw

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
- Rita Mae Brown

"The Second Law of Thermodynamics:
If you think things are in a mess now, just wait!"
- Jim Warner

"Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service, except that you undoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver. Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS OWNER'S MANUAL CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU UNPACK THE DEVICE. YOU ALREADY UNPACKED IT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU UNPACKED IT AND PLUGGED IT IN AND TURNED IT ON AND FIDDLED WITH THE KNOBS, AND NOW YOUR CHILD, THE SAME CHILD WHO ONCE SHOVED A POLISH SAUSAGE INTO YOUR VIDEOCASSETTE RECORDER AND SET IT ON "FAST FORWARD", THIS CHILD ALSO IS FIDDLING WITH THE KNOBS, RIGHT? AND YOU'RE JUST NOW STARTING TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, RIGHT??? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BREAK THESE DEVICES RIGHT AT THE FACTORY BEFORE WE SHIP THEM OUT, YOU KNOW THAT?"
- Dave Barry, "Read This First!"



"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."
- Gloria Steinem

"I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe"
- Anonymous



"I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar."
- Anonymous


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

"Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"
- Anonymous


"He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous

"Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it."
- Robert Heinlein

"It has been discovered experimentally that you can draw laughter from an audience anywhere in the world, of any class or race, simply by walking onto a stage and uttering the words "I am a married man`"."
- Ted Kavanugh - British radio scriptwriter

"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it."
- Buddy Hackett


"Alma: I rather suspect her of being in love with him.
Martin: Her own husband? Monstrous! What a selfish woman!"
- Jennie Jerome Churchill - "His borrowed plumes

"Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item."
- Anonymous


"EGGHEAD WEDS HOURGLASS"
- Headline of Variety, 1956, when Arthur Miller married Marilyn Monroe

"Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years."
- Anonymous






"I think, therefore I'm single."
- Female philosopher

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